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enact them. It may even be an attempt to step out of a role entirely. Luft (1969) describes
several characteristics of appropriate self-disclosure, five of the most salient being these:

1. Intimacy
The quality of a dyadic relationship is also measured by the degree of intimacy involved
(McAdams, 1989). Research by Gudykunst and Hammer (1988) finds "there is more self-
disclosure, attraction, attributional confidence ... in high-intimacy relationships than in low-
intimacy relationships" (p. 596). But what does "intimacy" mean? According to a fascinating
field study on the subject, Waring and his associates (1980) found five categories of response:
people associated intimacy with sharing thoughts, beliefs, fantasies, interests, goals, and
backgrounds.
Of the other attempts to study and define intimacy, one of the most promising views
intimacy as a relational process "in which we come to know the innermost, subjective aspects
of another, and are known in a like manner" (Chelune et al., in Derlega, 1984; italics added).
Beyond this, the authors argue that an intimate relationship is characterized by mutuality,
interdependence, trust, commitment, and caring.
Mutuality, where partners engage "in a joint venture," must be present in an intimate
relationship. Remember, the emphasis is on relationship:
Through interdependence "partners learn in what ways they can depend upon one
another for support, resources, understanding, and action, and they agree upon future
dependence" (p. 31). Closely related to trust, is commitment, the extent to which the two
people see their relationship as continuing indefinitely and make efforts to ensure that it will
continue. And caring, of course, is concern for the other's well-being and demonstrated
affection for the other.
Hatfield (1984) believes that each of us can develop intimacy skills. She recommends
that people be encouraged to accept themselves as they are, to recognize their intimates for
what they are, and to also express themselves). Intimacy skills can also be developed by
learning to deal with the responses of others—that is, learning not to apologize for your feelings
or clam up and withdraw when the other person reacts negatively to what you say.

2. Affiliation and Commitment
Another important variable of relationship quality and a significant predictor of how-two -
people will -interact in dyad is the strength of their affiliative needs. The need for affiliation
may be seen as a"continuum" from highly affiliative to antisocial behavior. The high affiliater,
who prefers being with others to being alone, enjoys and seeks out companionship. We
describe such a person as friendly, gregarious, and generally sociable. The person who is low
in the need for affiliation probably prefers being alone and has much less desire for
companionship. Since this behavior is not very reinforcing to other people, the low affiliater is
usually described as unfriendly or unsociable.
Most of us place ourselves somewhere between the two extremes on this continuum.
Since the dyad is potentially the most intimate form of communication, those of us with strong
needs for affiliation seem to be the most willing to make the commitments required in intense
dyadic relationships.
And yet many cannot handle that intimacy and the commitment it ultimately demands.
This is especially characteristic of the young and is reflected in the current divorce rate.
For many people the absolute commitment to another human being demanded by
marriage is frightening or at best constraining. During the last two decades the rapid increase in