Page 52 - 6688
P. 52

52
              in the next round of role play. In the discussion that follows and in succeeding role plays her
              effective responses  are  encouraged  and given positive reinforcement by the leader,  who is
              careful  to  give  positive  feedback  before  any  criticisms.  Slowly,  the  new,  more  assertive
              behavior pattern is shaped and perfected.
                    Another  assertiveness  technique  being  taught  involves  learning  DESC  Scripting.  D
              stands for "describe": you describe the troubling behavior as concretely as possible; E is for
              "express":  you  say  what  you  think  and  feel  about  what  you  have  just  described;  S  is  for
              "specify": you tell the other person what you want; and C is for "consequences": you make
              clear  to  the  other  person,  as  concretely  as  possible,  exactly  what  positive  or  negative
              consequences there are for complying or not complying with your requests.
                    Suppose, however, that one of these assertiveness techniques is learned and applied
              consistently. Can training of a relatively short duration extinguish habits — in this case, ways of
              communicating — that have been reinforced over long periods of time? And can these newer,
              more assertive patterns be maintained once you leave the class or the workshop or once you
              stop thinking about the four stages of DESC Scripting?
                    The effectiveness of such training seems to depend to a great degree on the relative
              strength  of  its  rewards  and  how  these  stack  up  against  the  rewards  for  nonassertive
              communication. One very important reward for all nonassertive behavior is avoiding conflict,
              anxiety, and disapproval. It can be upsetting to stand up to your parents, to insist that you
              deserve  a  raise  when  you  get  a  promotion,  to  repeat  that  you  will  not  pay  for  damaged
              merchandise  and  that  you  must  speak  with  the  store  manager.  On  the  other  hand,  the
              increased self-esteem and the satisfaction of individual needs that are often the results of a
              more  assertive  communication  style  are  powerful  reinforcers.  But  different  things  are
              reinforcing for different people. It is likely that for some the avoidance of conflict will be such a
              strong  reward  that  it  will  far  outweigh  the  many  gains  to  be  made  through  more  assertive
              behavior. As  always,  a reinforcer  has to  be defined in terms  of  the individual. Moreover, a
              reward must also be defined in terms of a given culture. A distinctly assertive communication
              style would not be acceptable in all countries or, for that matter, in all minority cultures.

              Summary
                    The dyad is in many ways a microcosm of all larger groups and thus encompasses many
              kinds of relationships from the most casual to the most intimate and long lasting. Our first major
              topic was the social setting within which two-person communication must be viewed. Members
              of  a  dyad  are  strongly  influenced  by  the  norms  they  have  already  adopted,  and  they  also
              establish some normative agreements of their own as they interact. In addition, the roles they
              enact affect how they will respond to each other; we examined some consequences of conflicts
              within  and  between  roles.  The  changing,  sometimes  troubled  nature  of  the  doctor-patient
              relationship was given special attention.
                    Because quality is so frequently an issue in assessing dyadic relationships, we looked at
              several  measures  of  high  quality.  We  first  discussed  the  importance  of  self-disclosure,  its
              relationship to trust, and the reasons people choose to self-disclose or to avoid disclosures.
              Intimacy  was seen as a  process—one that  has to  be  developed  and maintained. Affiliative
              need .and willingness to make commitments were also seen as important variables in dyadic
              relationships, as were dominance, status, and power. Cohabitation and marital-stability were
              also discussed.
                    In examining assertiveness, we identified several principles that might reasonably guide
              behavior. Three techniques for teaching assertiveness skills were discussed including DESC
   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57