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in the next round of role play. In the discussion that follows and in succeeding role plays her
effective responses are encouraged and given positive reinforcement by the leader, who is
careful to give positive feedback before any criticisms. Slowly, the new, more assertive
behavior pattern is shaped and perfected.
Another assertiveness technique being taught involves learning DESC Scripting. D
stands for "describe": you describe the troubling behavior as concretely as possible; E is for
"express": you say what you think and feel about what you have just described; S is for
"specify": you tell the other person what you want; and C is for "consequences": you make
clear to the other person, as concretely as possible, exactly what positive or negative
consequences there are for complying or not complying with your requests.
Suppose, however, that one of these assertiveness techniques is learned and applied
consistently. Can training of a relatively short duration extinguish habits — in this case, ways of
communicating — that have been reinforced over long periods of time? And can these newer,
more assertive patterns be maintained once you leave the class or the workshop or once you
stop thinking about the four stages of DESC Scripting?
The effectiveness of such training seems to depend to a great degree on the relative
strength of its rewards and how these stack up against the rewards for nonassertive
communication. One very important reward for all nonassertive behavior is avoiding conflict,
anxiety, and disapproval. It can be upsetting to stand up to your parents, to insist that you
deserve a raise when you get a promotion, to repeat that you will not pay for damaged
merchandise and that you must speak with the store manager. On the other hand, the
increased self-esteem and the satisfaction of individual needs that are often the results of a
more assertive communication style are powerful reinforcers. But different things are
reinforcing for different people. It is likely that for some the avoidance of conflict will be such a
strong reward that it will far outweigh the many gains to be made through more assertive
behavior. As always, a reinforcer has to be defined in terms of the individual. Moreover, a
reward must also be defined in terms of a given culture. A distinctly assertive communication
style would not be acceptable in all countries or, for that matter, in all minority cultures.
Summary
The dyad is in many ways a microcosm of all larger groups and thus encompasses many
kinds of relationships from the most casual to the most intimate and long lasting. Our first major
topic was the social setting within which two-person communication must be viewed. Members
of a dyad are strongly influenced by the norms they have already adopted, and they also
establish some normative agreements of their own as they interact. In addition, the roles they
enact affect how they will respond to each other; we examined some consequences of conflicts
within and between roles. The changing, sometimes troubled nature of the doctor-patient
relationship was given special attention.
Because quality is so frequently an issue in assessing dyadic relationships, we looked at
several measures of high quality. We first discussed the importance of self-disclosure, its
relationship to trust, and the reasons people choose to self-disclose or to avoid disclosures.
Intimacy was seen as a process—one that has to be developed and maintained. Affiliative
need .and willingness to make commitments were also seen as important variables in dyadic
relationships, as were dominance, status, and power. Cohabitation and marital-stability were
also discussed.
In examining assertiveness, we identified several principles that might reasonably guide
behavior. Three techniques for teaching assertiveness skills were discussed including DESC