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and so on. But the enacted role of parent may in fact be quite different. A father who is an
invalid may be supported by his child. Even when such an obvious reversal of roles does not
take place, different men interpret the role of father differently – one as a stern disciplinarian,
another as a completely permissive companion, another as a firm but loving teacher.
Granted, we "enact" roles. Some roles are more central to us than others. The intensity
with which a person takes on various roles differs: some will be enacted casually, with little or
no involvement, and others with great commitment. When we enact a role with any measure of
intensity, we communicate from within that role – we take a certain stance. We also internalize
certain expectations about how we should respond and how other people should respond to
us. ("How dare you talk to your mother that way?" asks the outraged mother.) Most
communication takes place within the boundaries of these expectations.
We are more comfortable in some roles than in others. The roles we don’t enjoy playing
are those that create conflict. Role conflict, and the misunderstandings to which it gives rise,
illustrate the interdependence of role, self-concept, and communication. There are two types of
role conflict, both of which tend to create problems in communication.
Interrole Conflict
A person is likely to experience interrole conflict when occupying two roles that entail
contradictory expectations about a given behaviour. Suppose that while proctoring an exam
Lisa sees her friend cheating during the test. As a proctor she feels obliged to report the
cheating. As a friend she may feel that loyalty demands she overlook what she has just seen.
The options in this case seem clear. The demands of each role are known. They conflict, and
one must be chosen over the other.

Intrarole Conflict
An ihtrarole conflict presents other kinds of problems; it involves contradictory
expectations concerning a single role. Consider an example that affects us all: the conflict in
sex roles. Must a woman assume the roles of wife and mother to be totally feminine? And what
after all are her obligations as wife and mother? Are housework and child rearing exclusively
female responsibilities? No, say many women – and some men.
The women's movement focused attention on the female sex role. But male and female
roles are complementary; a redefinition of the female role has required changes in the male
role.

ASSESSING THE QUALITY
Quality is a crucial issue in the two-person setting. According to Miller and Steinberg,
interpersonal – i.e., high-quality relationships are distinguished by the following characteristics:
1. First, information about the other person is primarily psychological rather than cultural and
sociological. Most cultural and sociological information is easy to come by as it includes the
other person's sex, age, occupation, group memberships –that is, information accessible to
most people, even without knowing the other. But psychological information – your likes
and dislikes, or your goals, or your fears – is most important.
2. Second, rules for that relationship are developed by the two people involved rather than
being rules set by tradition.
3. Third, the roles are defined primarily by personal characteristics rather than by situation.
4. And fourth, the emphasis is on individual choices rather than group choices.
The concept of quality applies to all dyadic relationships. There are many variables that
have an impact on casual relationships. The main are self-disclosure, trust and reciprocity, .