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yourself. The other side will appear more powerful. When you focus on
your own limitations, you miss the big picture. Instead, successful
negotiators ask, "What is the pressure on the other side in this
negotiation?" You will feel more powerful when you recognize the

reasons for the other side to give in. Your negotiation power derives in
part from the pressures on the other person. Even if they appear
nonchalant, they inevitably have worries and concerns. It's your job to

be a detective and root these out. If you discover that they are under
pressure, which they surely are, look for ways to exploit that pressure in
order to achieve a better result for yourself.

8. Show the other person how their needs will be
met. Successful negotiators always look at the situation from the other
side's perspective. Everyone looks at the world differently, so you are
way ahead of the game if you can figure out their perception of the deal.

Instead of trying to win the negotiation, seek to understand the other
negotiator and show them ways to feel satisfied. My philosophy of
negotiation includes the firm belief that one hand washes the other. If

you help the other side to feel satisfied, they will be more inclined to
help you satisfy your needs. That does not mean you should give in to
all their positions. Satisfaction means that their basic interests have been

fulfilled, not that their demands have been met. Don't confuse basic
interests with positions/demands: Their position/demand is what they
say they want; their basic interest is what they really need to get.
9. Don't give anything away without getting something in

return. Unilateral concessions are self-defeating. Whenever you give
something away, get something in return. Always tie a string: "I'll do
this if you do that." Otherwise you are inviting the other negotiator to

ask you for additional concessions. When you give something away
without requiring them to reciprocate, they will feel entitled to your
concession, and won't be satisfied until you give up even more. But if
they have to earn your concession, they will derive a greater sense of

satisfaction than if they got it for nothing.
10. Don't take the issues or the other person's behavior
personally. All too often negotiations fail because one or both of the

parties get sidetracked by personal issues unrelated to the deal at hand.
Successful negotiators focus on solving the problem, which is: How can
we conclude an agreement that respects the needs of both parties?

Obsessing over the other negotiator's personality, or over issues that are
not directly pertinent to making a deal, can sabotage a negotiation. If