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hostile and aggressive, if problems develop. One should respond
slowly and carefully in cross-cultural exchanges, not jumping to the
conclusion that you know what is being thought and said.

William Ury’s suggestion for heated conflicts is to stop, listen, and
think, or as he puts it "go to the balcony" when the situation gets tense.
By this he means withdraw from the situation, step back, and reflect
on what is going on before you act. This helps in cross-cultural
communication as well. When things seem to be going badly, stop or
slow down and think. What could be going on here? Is it possible I
misinterpreted what they said, or they misinterpreted me? Often
misinterpretation is the source of the problem.

Active listening can sometimes be used to check this out–by repeating
what one thinks he or she heard, one can confirm that one understands
the communication accurately. If words are used differently between
languages or cultural groups, however, even active listening can
overlook misunderstandings.

Often intermediaries who are familiar with both cultures can be
helpful in cross-cultural communication situations. They can translate
both the substance and the manner of what is said. For instance, they
can tone down strong statements that would be considered appropriate
in one culture but not in another, before they are given to people from
a culture that does not talk together in such a strong way. They can
also adjust the timing of what is said and done. Some cultures move
quickly to the point; others talk about other things long enough to
establish rapport or a relationship with the other person. If discussion
on the primary topic begins too soon, the group that needs a "warm
up" first will feel uncomfortable. A mediator or intermediary who
understands this can explain the problem, and make appropriate
procedural adjustments.

Yet sometimes intermediaries can make communication even more
difficult. If a mediator is the same culture or nationality as one of the
disputants, but not the other, this gives the appearance of bias, even
when none exists. Even when bias is not intended, it is common for
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