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us, as though with his confidence a little of that consuming memory
had passed into me.
I found that despite the trusting mothers, his attitude toward
girls was not indiscriminately protective. It was up to the girl – if she
showed an inclination toward looseness, she must take care of herself,
even with him.
"Life," he would explain sometimes, "has made a cynic "of
me."
By life he meant Paula. Sometimes, especially when he was
drinking, it became a little twisted in his mind, and he thought that
she had callously thrown him over.
This "cynicism," or rather his realization that naturally fast girls
were not worth sparing, led to his affair with Dolly Karger. It wasn't
his only affair in those years, but it came nearest to touching him
deeply, and it had a profound effect upon his attitude toward life.
Dolly was the daughter of a notorious "publicist" who had
married into society. She herself grew up into the Junior League,
came out at the Plaza, and went to the Assembly; and only a few old
families like the Hunters could question whether or not she
"belonged," for her picture was often in the papers, and she had more
enviable attention than many girls who undoubtedly did. She was
dark-haired, with carmine lips and a high, lovely color, which she
concealed under pinkish-gray powder all through the first year out,
because high color was unfashionable - Victorian-pale was the thing
to be. She wore black, severe suits and stood with her hands in her
pockets leaning a little forward, with a humorous restraint on her
face. She danced exquisitely – better than anything she liked to dance
– better than anything except making love. Since she was ten she had
always been in love, and, usually, with some boy who didn't respond
to her. Those who did – and there were many – bored her after a
brief encounter, but for her failures she reserved the warmest spot in
her heart. When she met them she would always try once more -
sometimes she succeeded, more often she failed.
It never occurred to this gypsy of the unattainable that there
was a certain resemblance in those who refused to love her – they
shared a hard intuition that saw through to her weakness, not a
weakness of emotion but a weakness of rudder. Anson perceived this
when he first met her, less than a month after Paula's marriage. He
was drinking rather heavily, and he pretended for a week that he was