Page 119 - 182_

know the texture of each other’s tend to receive what’s revealed. It’s
lives. She remembers my another kind of pleasure – playing
grandmother’s cabbage soup. I wise mother to a questing younger
remember the way her uncle played person. It’s another very lovely kind
the piano. There’s simply no other of friendship.
friend who remembers those 6.Part-of-a-couple friendships.
things… Some of the women we call our
4.Crossroads friends. Like - friends we never see alone – we see
historical friends, our crossroad them as part of a couple at couples’
friends are important for what was – parties. And though we share
for the friendship we shared at a interests in many things and respect
crucial, now past time of life. A each other’s views, we aren’t moved
time, perhaps, when we roomed in to deepen the relationship. Whatever
college together, or worked the reason, a lack of time or – and
…together … this is more likely – a lack of
Crossroads friends forge chemistry, our friendship remains in
powerful links, links strong enough the context of a group. But the fact
to endure with not much more that that we spend half the evening
contact than once-a-year letters at talking together counts as a
Christmas. And out of respect for friendship.
those crossroads years, for those Other part-of-a-couple friends
dramas and dreams we once shared, are the friends that came with the
we will always be friends. marriage, and some of these are
5.Cross-generational friends. friends we could live without…
Historical friends and crossroads [But] we find ourselves dealing with
friends seem to maintain a special them, somewhat against our will, in
kind of intimacy – dormant but a spirit of what I’ll call reluctant
always ready to be revived… friendship.)
Another kind of intimacy exists in 7. Men who are friends. … I
the friendships that form across must mention man-woman
generations in what one woman friendships too. For these
calls her daughter-mother and her friendships can be just as close and
mother-daughter relationships.” as dear as those that we form with
…what we get from cross- women. Listen to Lucy’s description
generational friends [who are our of one such friendship:
parent’s age] “is the benefit of their “We’ve found we have things to
experience. What they get – and talk about that are different from
enjoy – from us is a youthful what he talks about with my
perspective. It’s a pleasure for both husband and different from what I
of us.” … they are wise, …have talk about with his wife. So
been where we are and can help us sometimes we call on the phone or
understand it. meet for lunch. There are similar
In our daughter role we tend to intellectual interests – we always
do more than our share of self- pass on to each other the book that
revelation; in our mother role we we love – but there’s also something

125