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A certain man was seen to reel into Mr. Twain's hotel last night
in a state of beastly intoxication. It is the imperative duty of the
Independents to prove that this besotted brute was not Mark Twain
himself. We have them at last! This is a case that admits of no
shirking. The voice of the people demands in thundertones, 'Who was
that man?'"
It was incredible, absolutely incredible, for a moment, that it
was really my name that was coupled with this disgraceful suspicion.
Three long years had passed over my head since I had tasted ale, beer,
wine or liquor of any kind.
[It shows what effect the times were having on me when I say
that I saw myself confidently dubbed "Mr. Delirium Tremens Twain"
in the next issue of that journal without a pang — notwithstanding I
knew that with monotonous fidelity the paper would go on calling me
so to the very end.]
By this time anonymous letters were getting to be an important
part of my mail matter. This form was common:
How about that old woman you kicked off your premises which
1
was begging'? POL PRY .
And this:
There is things which you have done which is unbeknowens to
anybody but me. You better trot out a few dots, to yours truly, or
2
you'll hear through the papers from HANDY ANDY .
This is about the idea. I could continue them till the reader was
surfeited, if desirable.
Shortly the principal Republican journal "convicted" me of
wholesale bribery, and the leading Democratic paper "nailed" an
aggravated case of blackmailing to me.
[In this way I acquired two additional names: "Twain, the
3
Filthy Corruptionist," and "Twain, the Loathsome Embracer ."]
By this time there had grown to be such a clamour for an
"answer" to all the dreadful charges that were laid to me that the
editors and leaders of my party said it would be political ruin for me
to remain silent any longer. As if to make their appeal the more

1
Pol Pry. Paul Pry (coll.) — a nickname for an inquisitive person
2
Handy Andy: a nickname
3
loathsome embracer: огидний шантажист